The oven and the pork

You were supposed to work in the kitchen, preparing food. 

However, the deepest of your desires is to sit in the bright dinning room, 
doing finger push-ups on the white linen. 

As you were standing stupefied, gazing at the boiling baby-carrots,
you made a plan to act like the pork and secretly reach the table. 

Well,  your act is in vain, as your place in the dinning room 
will not be on a chair, but on the platter.

What is a Random Post ?

 3. I start writing a post immediately,                  

     based on the random word.                         

                                                                       

 4. Post it.                                                    

                                                                

 5. Then I go to sleep.                         

                                                        

                                                 

How 

               

 1. I sit on   

                         

 2. I ask a friend to t   

                                            

How it works :                           

                                                             

 1. I sit on my desk, wanting to just            

     write about something.                                   

                                                                                

 2. I ask a friend to tell me a word.                             

                                                                                

 Randomness is the inability to see the pattern. 

Hurtpicks

I can only guess how furious the man who made

the first toothpick must have been.

Trying to get rid of food, located between your teeth

is hard like trying to get rid of someone located inside your hurt.

Toothpicks are the oldest instruments for dental cleaning.

What about hurt cleaning ?

Love at last sight

-But you said that you are in love with me!

-Darling I'm late, I have to go.

-You said that you 're in love with me, but that you also have
one night stands with other things. One way or another, you said it!

-It was not said, it was typed and it wasn't me typing it,
but my brother.

A Winter Swimmer

The economy is getting worse, the weather is getting worse, less and less people are having sex,

but I feel stronger, willing and ready. 

What am I ?

Knowing everything for a view seconds

If you need  a spherical view, ask Mr. Fish,
down the corridor, in the bowl.

Make it quick though. His memory is terrible.
A long question would make him walk on circles
while trying to recall your identity.

An imagination process

Or was it the other way around ?